Chaos Theory

I decide to give a skip to my day’s schedule which now has become kind of boring and tedious despite containing things that aren’t much difficult or repetitive, in fact, everyday there is something new but only that it’s already known to me as everyone’s schecdule is decided by one gigantic computer which was installed to bring in the order into the chaos so prevalent in the pre-computerized world, so that there are no conflicts betweeen people, no traffic jams on the road because the monstrous computer knows everyone's whereabouts, and it is maintaining this order with highest efficiency, and I confess here that I enjoyed it very much in the beginning because everything was in order, it was different, but lately I have grown weary of all that, and I strongly feel this new system has taken out the excitement from people's lives, because excitement is not knowing what the excitement is but guessing what the excitement is going to be, this system doesn't give that opportunity anymore, and for that reason I decide to instill a little chaos in this order and enjoy myself, I, the first person after the computerization, am not going to follow the pre laid path but take different one which is not decided by some huge computer but my own brain, and I know it is going to bring huge chaos into the whole system because if I don’t follow the computer’s order, it doesn’t know where am I and what am I going to do and hence, is not able to direct others and it will lead to a chain reaction where everything goes haywire, oh, it is evil, you say, and I say I can’t agree more on that, I have stopped caring for all that and here I am, taking my own path and I go with my own plans as you witness a big chaos, the whole world is crumbling down for there is no order, and I am the one to blame and I am blamed, and the computer, for the first time in ages, has been shut down, none of the people know what they have to do, or should I say, they aren’t told what they have to do and so they should do what they want and it’s freedom, then there is chaos, perhaps freedom is chaos, or chaos is freedom, I am not sure, but they seem to not want that freedom, partly because they see chaos not the freedom so, I get arrested for what I did and I am gonna be hanged now, and I am sweating all over, and they’re asking for an apology which could mean just few years in jail but I am not up for the deal, it is not worth it, moreover I am sure there are few in that crowd who think what I did was right, they will respect me for that, they feel happy because someone was able to see what was wrong and few will realize what was wrong, none of it will happen if I apologize, and if I don't apologize others will repeat what I did, and it will go on in a geometric progression and one day we’ll reclaim our world which is very human and exciting, filled with chaos that’s created by us, the chaos that we define our reality by, chaos that defines that we're human, chaos that we call freedom, liberty, joy, that is our revelation, but my only regret is I won’t be there to see it and enjoy it or feel it, and I wish I could but it has come to a stage where either I will die and make it happen but not enjoy it or stay alive and never make it happen, and I make my choice, I am going to sacrifice myself for what I beleive, I am going to die and make it happen.

I open my eyes. I touch my face, it is all sweating and sticky. I am not dead, I am still alive and breathing, still in the world that’s filled with chaos. There’s no computer to tell me what am I going to do today, I am still on my own in the very world for which I said, there’s need to bring an order into this chaos, like some huge super computer to put everything in order and maintain it, when my friends and I were discussing the world last night after we'd emptied two full bottles of Bacardi (blast).