Reflections of a hypocrite

“Ten years down the line you will be more disappointed with things you didn’t do than the things you did”

Perhaps this has become a life mantra for me these days. When a mediocre guy like me needs something to lift up his spirits he takes rescue in such quotes, I suppose. But, on an honest note, it is not a good feeling when you need such things so often on daily basis.

I started my web blog with an intention of writing stories, poems, critics and lot many stuff I thought I could write. But, unfortunately nothing really materiliazed to an extent I had hoped for. It’s not that I didn’t try. Every time I tried, I failed to come up with a piece I would proudly say I wrote it.

I must have tried around hundred topics in the last month that I wanted to write something about. Never did I succeed to come up with something that’s readable. I read many blogs, books, articles looking for inspiration, knowledge, direction. At the end of the day, when I start writing something of my own, it is the same old story again.

I know I am not the worst writer on this planet. But, that’s not what I want to compare myself with. I want to write that is really appreciable by an average English reader. More importantly by me. On the contrary, everytime I write something, it all looks very inane and immature. May be I should post all of them and humiliate myself. But, the hypocrite inside me doesn’t want it to happen that way. He wants to project an image that might not reflect my own self. He wants to paint a rosy picture of a writer in me. Result. No blogs, no writing and hence, no progress.

I know, it sounds very looserish. If you haven’t gone through what I have been going through, you won’t be able to understand what I mean.

Then, you may say why banging your head over something when you know you’re not good at it. Unfortunately, things are easier said than done. If I give up writing I would feel much more frustrated than what I feel now. I love to write. Perhaps, that love needs to be backed up with some sort of flair of language which I confess I seriously lack. All these things summed up today to create one more entirely unreadable post. (How I wish I was wrong here!)

Kiddos in the cafe

“Motorcycle for the oldies... ha ha ha”, Bamda continued with his sarcastic tone as I listened, “You know what, guys, if someone is riding a bullet, “still”, you can be rest assured that he is from Jurassic Park era”. Bamda followed up his comments with a loud laugh.

They were a group of 5. Since the tables were not free when the group moved in, they had to share my table. Well, it’s difficult to say that. I was sitting alone in the table which actually meant for four people. As this group moved in, one guy sat to my right and the other two across to me. Remaining two sat on either sides of the table. I, without a choice, became a part of the group. At least till we leave the cafe.

From their discussion I could make out they were motorcycle enthusiasts like me. They were on the way to Bhangarh, a place in Rajasthan. I was on the way back home from my travel. A strange coincidence had brought us together in that small cafe.

The group continued with their discussion and of course, were willingly included me in their discussion without even waiting for my approval.

Ranha, who was sitting on the left side of the table, added to the discussion, “I feel very sorry for the guys who buy bullet. I mean, you ride all over the town making this loud noise only to end up in a mechanic shop in the evening. I think its better be a mechanic before buying a bullet.” As expected another round of laughter from the group. I just smiled.

Pizaringa, the guy across the table said, “It’s a villager’s motorcycle, dude”, he continued, “Like those landlords who wanted show off. I mean, come on guys, be ‘civilized’”.

Minora said, “Dude, don’t insult villagers anymore. Even they have moved on to trendy motorcycles”.

Bashing of bullet motorcycles by the group continued. But, after every comment they were expecting me to join in their laughter and add my sarcastic comment on the bike. But all I had for their comments was just a simple smile.

However, thankfully, the discussion turned into our travel stories. I said, Thank God. They told me about their trip to Goa, Nagpur, Shirdi etc. Novomak, guy who was sitting on the right table of said, “We have done 500 km in a day, that’s a record of our group”.

Since, I am also a travel enthusiast, I too shared my stories. I shared my story of travel from which I am returning home. The story of riding my motorcycle through the toughest terrain of the Himalayas. My ride from the west of Arunachal Pradesh to the east taking a route that, to the most of the world, didn’t exist. My stories of crossing water streams in my motorcycle, riding in a deserted land filled with rocks with a load of around 70 kg on the back seat and many more. My total travel was about 1500 miles. I didn’t complete it in one day or two days but 40 days instead. I showed the photographs and videos of my travel. When they saw those photos of the roads through which I travelled, they exclaimed, “You really rode through these roads”. I calmly said, “Yes”. By the look of their faces, I could say, these people would not even contemplate going on such a ride. But then, I knew, there were not me. I smiled but didn’t show it on my face.

Those guys looked at me with appreciation. Then there were few moments of silence.

Unfortunately, after wandering over of couple of other topics, they started over again with their bashing of bullet motorcycle. Then Bamda looked at me and said, “You know what I feel, bullet manufacturer should close down. They’re creating such ugly motorcycles even today. At least our streets would look a bit better without these ugly ducklings”. I got up and wore my jacket. Then I said, “You’re talking to a wrong person. I own a bullet. All those travel stories I told you, I completed them with my bullet”, then I had to say to them, “Good luck, Kids!”

GRE joke!!!

Two trucks loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press.

Witnesses were aghast, amazed, astonished, astounded, bemused, benumbed, bewildered, confounded, confused, dazed, dazzled, disconcerted, disoriented, dumbstruck, electrified, flabbergasted, horrified, immobilized, incredulous, nonplussed, overwhelmed, paralyzed, perplexed, scared, shocked, startled, stunned, stupified, surprised, taken aback, traumatized, upset. . . . . — joke circulated on the Internet during December 2003